


this is so cursed i hope you enjoy this because it's going to take ten years off my lifespan

by hamifihekrix



Category: Homestuck, Vast Error
Genre: secret santa gift, why am I doing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21883357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamifihekrix/pseuds/hamifihekrix
Summary: this is a secret santa gift i'm making for a vast error server i'm in :]
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	this is so cursed i hope you enjoy this because it's going to take ten years off my lifespan

\-- grandioseSaturation [GS] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] \--  
  
GS: Hello.  
GS: I would like to formally ask you why exactly your profile has popped up on my Skorpe client.  
GS: It would disastrous if you had someone made your way into my client.  
CA: wwhat  
CA: wwho the fuck are you  
GS: I'm trying to ask you the same thing. There is a level of civilty I will show to you, as a fellow seadweller, but that civilty can only last to an extent.  
CA: wwait hold on a motherglubbin second  
CA: wwhy the hell are you posin as a fuchsiablood  
CA: did fef send you to come troll me or somefin  
GS: Troll you? But you're the one who forced your Skorpe handle into my Skorpe client.  
CA: wwhat the fuck is a skorpe is that like some neww fuckin trollian ripoff  
GS: Trollian?  
GS: I feel as if there may be unforeseen forces that have caused this situation, in comparison to the previously thought theory.   
GS: Well, since we're here, I suppose I will ask. Again, only because you are a fellow seadweller.  
GS: Who are you?  
CA: eridan ampora  
GS: Not a family name I recognize.  
CA: ill slit your fuckin breathpipe  
GS: Note taken. Touchy subject.  
ERIDAN: then wwhats your name if wwere askin questions  
GS: Calder Kerian. Any other questions?  
CA: wwhats your bloodcaste  
GS: Magenta, a derivant from fuchsia.  
CA: hogwash tell me the truth asswipe  
CA: only a fuckin rustie would lie like this to someone wwhos so obvviously abovve them like i am  
GS: I beg your pardon.  
CA: uhghhhghgh fuck ok listen  
CA: its fuckin impossible for you to be a fuchsia blood  
GS: What makes you say that.  
CA: my moirail is literally a fuchsia blood and itd take a thinkpan emptier than the fuckin vvoid itself to not knoww that there cant be multiple fuchsias alivve at once thats not howw alternia wworks  
GS: Alternia? I've never heard of that before.  
CA: oh come the fuck ON youvve got to be trollin me wwith this bullshit  
CA: you knoww alternia  
CA: our PLANET  
GS: Our planet is Repiton. I'm not convinced that you're not the one who is doing the trolling.  
CA: its so hard to tell if youre bein serious or not  
CA: if i take you seriously for evven a second wwhich is more than you deservve  
CA: youre sayin that you livve on a planet called repiton and that youvve nevver heard of alternia  
GS: Yes.  
CA: ok wwhatevver im too tired to argue wwith you  
CA: either youvve been livvin under a goddamn rock or theres some shenanigans goin on right noww and i dont knoww wwhich one i hate the idea of more  
CA: lets movve onto another topic before i decide that this cacophony of wword noise is too much for my thinkpan and i just block you  
GS: Well then. Tell me more about yourself.  
CA: uhhh wwhat is there to tell  
CA: as wwe already established i am a vvery highrankin seadwweller wwith connections far wwide and especially deep  
CA: my moirail is alternias fuchsia youngster her names feferi and someday shes gonna overthroww our current leader  
GS: I remember you saying that there was only one fuchsia blood on your planet, much like my own.  
CA: no wwe have twwo theres my moirail fef and then theres her imperial condescension which is fef's ancestor  
GS: Ah. I see.  
GS: On Repiton, there's only me. As far as we know, at least.  
GS: It's quite lonely.  
GS: I'm sure you can't relate.  
CA: wwhat givves you that assumption  
GS: If I look back to just a moment ago, you said that you had "connections far, wide, and especially deep".  
CA: just cus i havve connections doesnt mean im not lonely  
GS: Interesting.  
GS: You mentioned a moirailgence with your planets fuchsia. Is that not working out?  
CA: i guess you can say that  
CA: me and fefs relationship is more a mutual agreement than a relationship  
CA: she calms me dowwn wwhenevver i need it and in return i feed her old ass lusus  
CA: it sucks because i kinda do feel things for her yknoww but im not good wwith emotions so i kinda just havve to wwatch as she growws more and more distant from me  
CA: kinda ironic because it makes me feel the exact opposite of wwhat fef is supposed to be feel in this relationship  
GS: Have you spoke to her about this? Communication is key.  
CA: you dont sound like the type a person wwhos allowwed to givve that advvice i do not get the vvibe that you respect wwomen i havve to say  
GS: Of course I respect women. What do you take me for?  
CA: someone wwho dont respect wwomen  
CA: anywway yeah wwhat im TRYIN to say here is that i get you  
CA: loneliness fuckin sucks but hey  
CA: maybe the future wwill be different or some shit  
GS: Huh. That's strange. I didn't take you as the optimistic type.  
CA: im not optimistic im just sayin it could happen  
GS: Well, regardless of how optimistic you are or are not, I have things that I have to attend to here, on Repiton.  
GS: Unless you have anything else that you would like to say, I am going to take my leave.  
CA: wwait uh  
CA: are you gonna try to message me again  
GS: We'll see.  
CA: wwell i uh  
CA: i hope you havve a good day or wwhatevver  
CA: thats wwhat wwe say to each other wwhen wwe end a convversation nicely right  
GS: In some definitons of the term, "nicely".  
CA: oh good i dont havve much experience wwith those types a convversation  
GS: Well then, I'll be seeing you.  
  
\-- grandioseSaturation [GS] gave up trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]\-- 


End file.
